Thursday, April 25, 2013

Wooden Men

The Wooden Men On Another planet, many light years away, lived a race of people made of wood or straw. The hardwood people made up the upper class, the softwood people made up the middle class and the straw people made up the lower class. There were no men or women here. Everyone was of the same sex. But for clarity we will refer to them as men. The reproduced themselves by taking a splinter, or straw, from their body and planting it in the ground. On this planet, "Chip off the old block" had a literal meaning. One day the planet was invaded by evil aliens. These creatures had never seen a planet like this before. All intelligent lifeforms they had encountered were human, like them. The evil aliens cared nothing about other life forms that they discovered on other worlds. All they thought about was themselves and how they could use new intelligent lifeforms. But not as slaves; they had robots to do most of the work for them. No, they would use 'other people' for 'other things'. For example; on the 'Pig World' lived the 'Pig People'. The evil aliens used them for: food, clothing and footballs. On the 'Cow World' lived the 'Cow People'. They were used for food, clothing and leather furniture. The wood and straw people knew nothing about the evil aliens and foolishly trusted them. It wasn't long before they found out the real intentions of their new 'friends'. The Hardwood people were killed and used to make hardwood floors, baseball bats, police billy clubs and so forth. The Softwood people were killed to make picture frames, plywood, wooden boxes and so forth. The Straw people were used to feed animals like horses and donkeys. Before the arrival of the evil aliens the wood and straw people started up their own space program. Hardwood men were too heavy for space travel. Even in weightlessness, he could 'bang' into objects in the space craft and damage them. The Strawmen were the opposite, they were too light. He could be damaged if he 'banged' into something. The Softwood men were just right for space travel and it was decided that, at first, all astronauts would be softwood men. But this time, this last trip would be different. The remaining wood and straw men thought of their species' survival. The three astronauts would be: a hardwood man, a softwood man and a strawman. They would just have to take their chances. They made their escape and headed to the closest star. They would make it in a few months. They made sure to bring enough water and extra batteries for their sun lamps. Unknown to them, the planet they were headed for was inhabited by Fire People; and Fire People feed on wood and straw

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